Oh..... heiii...

One big leap to the future....

You guys (all .5 of you) I have become a fancy person with a fancy job and a janitor's wage.


Life is great in the fashion industry.


You know... this is a real thing. Working in fashion. Sounds amazing... luxury.. travel.... decadence.. *anna nicole voice*

It's hard. It's really hard you guys. Here are the facts:

1. Your boss is probably crazy.
2. You work for peanuts.
3. You work 3 jobs for peanuts.
4. Are you lucky as fuck? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck yes.
5. 90% of the people I went to "fashion" school with work at charlotte russe.
6. Do you have IBS, let's say yes but I hope not because I love all of you.

This is what we're gonna do, I'm gonna spill the beans. It's. Time.

I'm stoked. It's gonna be great.

- Artie McArtVark
creator of sassy old lady clothes across the us of muh fukkin A.

In the hizzy wizzy.

~~*~*~Summer days driftin away*~*~~

So like spring fashion is about to pussy whip us for a good month & a half and I can barely stand the excitement. Now I, as a citizen of the female woman gayer club, am finding myself a bit melancholy over the whole bit. So in honor of me putting my dolphin shorts back in their vacuum bag and dustin off ye olde forever lazy (it's camo print, totes kosher) I wanted to show y'all a few of my faborite sumrah tings.

Starting from top right (like they say in the magazines) Brixton hat, Superretrofuture wayfarers on top of VMan Fall 2012 issue, & my team 'merica Nike montreal racers.



I know what you're thinkin "Hold up, you're a dude?!" You prolly think that cuz my tone's mad mature like Maya Angelou or Rosie O'Donnel but SURPRISE.

Now I'm off to run over a gypsie so I can fit into mah fall leathers....


Don't judge bitch.

Listen,

I get it, I'm not giving enough.

"If you wanna be my blogger, you gotta get with my internet... more than twice a year"

and I understand but like *emotional charged background piano* I have commitment issues. I do, clich'e? very.

But like watevers ok, can we just like slow down and be more casual or watevers.

W mag totes reads my blog and caught the medieval vibe for this super like sickening editorial by Jacob K (oh hayyyyy Jacob). Which I think means I can make a contact once a week when we walk by each other on the way to gym class.

"oh hai guysh *lisp, definitely a lisp* my mom packed me an exshtra pudding or watever if you guysh like want it or watever or not I mean who likesh pudding right? ew carbsh right? ha ha.. ha.. ha.. yolo?"

..........

"pfft hellsh yah you can copy my calc homework!"

I'm still waiting on the new V which I don't know if you heard but has super sexy (hella frost queen) Nicole Kidman on the cover.

 

CHICA- O____O

Also excited to see Mama Carine's new (too good to call it a magazine) fashion book.

 

Which, by the by, the chisme with this whole thing has been daaaaaaaaaaaaaaank.

Conde Nast has been super shiesty enforcing all their exclusive contract deals with talent that was signed on to collaborate with the big Roit.

Super crazy.

I wrote a lot, yes? 

Listen, don't call me for a couple of days. I'm going to uh visit my parents or watevers. I'll text you when uh get back. or watevers.

Byeeeeeee

Advanced Style Film: trailer

So excited for thisssssssssssssss

These women have seen it all and understand style better than any of us can (that is, until we're 90 years old)
The fact that they can see what's being produced these days and physically feel the references rather than just be educated on them like our generation is = fashion super heroes.

"Up until 80 you never say your age, after 80 you brag about it"

Can't wait to be 80 years old (and 80% plastic)

Jusss kiddings.

Bottega Verano

There's something about the half-seasons that I just freakin love. I think it's the way you can sometimes sense what's inspiring each designer for their  main RTW collections. Also sometimes they end up being the watered down version of the previous season which is refreshing to see at times. Anyways, anyways, Bottega's out and while they weren't all stand outs these three definitely caught my brown lady eyes. Pink is makin it's rounds (as usual) while brown is beginning to join the party. It's turning into my fall color prom queen. I've been feeling it with black like Tomas did in his one-piece + shawl collar cardi. I'm also still really into the deep shoulder tank. I recently used it on a gown I did for the historical society and I can't help say G'DAM when you get a mouth full of shoulder. Scrumptious.

(shameless self promotion)

Ma-Lam'e

That was a mexican joke. FYI.

This fall we're getting gold-fingered y'all.

Oh Heiiiiii

So it's become apparent to me that I suck at blogging.

¡¿PORQUE?!

I'm juss busy okay.

Anywho. We're well past Fall 2012 and a couple days into resort season so I'm just gonna spit out a few of my auntie cleo predictions then talk about how uncle Karl let us eat cake face.

Too Broke for Baroque  

Our drool over floweth 

at Dolce & Gabbana

Oh Vivi-bear.

Knights of the Donatella Table

   Am I gon be wearin chainmaille this fall, Arturo? 

Whats gonna happen is more along the lines of:

Symmetrical embroider, beading & applique reminiscent of the doublets used in the 16th century. I have a feeling we're gonna be seeing heaps of these sort of embellishments. It's basically gonna be the new exposed zipper. Gon be on errthang. 

The 16th/17th Century influence will def be around for a bit too. 

Leave it to the Kaiser to Versailles dick slap us. Marie Club Kid Antoinette. Someone make her a friendship bracelet.

Papa's tired. TTYL.